
Zodiac Animals at the Chester Beatty
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The average attention span of a goldfish is nine seconds. A Microsoft study—from over a decade ago—says humans now clock in at just eight. Back in 2000, we managed 12 seconds, which sounds positively monk-like by today’s standards. At this rate by my calculations, in 2025, we’re at 5.5 seconds. Congratulations, humanity by 2028 the goldfish will have officially lapped us in the attention department.
“Heavy multi-screeners find it difficult to filter out irrelevant stimuli—they’re more easily distracted by multiple streams of media,” the study notes. And keep in mind, this was before TikTok—that unholy black hole of dances, memes, and life hacks. Today, 77% of 18-to-24-year-olds admit that when they have nothing to do, their first reflex is to grab their phones. Honestly, I’d bet good money that the real number is higher. No one wants to admit their main hobby is chasing likes, outrage, and insta distractions.
So what does this mean for how we communicate online? Assume no one has an attention span. Your audience is already halfway out the door, so cut the fluff. Simplify your message. Be clear, sharp, and fast. You’re competing with everything from cat videos to existential dread, and you’ve got seconds to make it count. Ramble, and you’re done.
This is why we need to be succinct and to the point. Brevity isn’t just polite; it’s fundamental. Plus, it’s good for accessibility. Neurodivergent users, in particular, can find information overload impenetrable. Clarity is kindness, keeping it short is wise. Let’s face it: if you’ve made it this far statistically you’re a unicorn, you have the attention span of a cat. Well done. So, I’ll leave you with this to takeaway:
So I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”